Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
