I'm really into asian looking animals
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
