I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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