Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
