these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
