Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
