is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
