My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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