i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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