summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
