Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
