I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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