in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
