so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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