I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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