All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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