I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
