Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
