what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
