im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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