So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
