I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
