3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ttyl tear gas
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
