Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
