One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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