Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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