This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
