you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
