I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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