Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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