I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
