YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
