I must be too annoying 4 u.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
