there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
