Plan B is the new Plan A
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
