just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Vodka?
Forever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
