why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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