he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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