piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
