don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
