I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
