If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
