Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i used baking grease as lip gloss
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
