So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
