I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
