is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i drank out of a bidet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
