Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
