ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
accomplished twins. life is a go
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Of course I have a pirate flag
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
