Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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