Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
