i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
