you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
