omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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